Today is payday which means that I am making a payment on the (final) credit card – this payment brings the debt to within the level of my overdraft (ie the level at which I could pay the balance in full and only have my own bank to repay) which will have us up to over than 70% paid off from our debt at the start of the year and leave about 14% of our total debt (less interest) remaining. I will get this paid off in the next two months and on payday in June, I will have some left over to spend on myself! This is the light-at-the-end-of-the-tunnel moment! This whole process of fulfilling my decision to accelerate the repayments and complete them in this half of the year has felt so unending and depressing – knuckling down the whole winter and trying to slash spending on pretty much everything – but in two months it WILL all be over and I will be free of it! And free to go back to my previous level of weekly discretionary spending as well as save a good chunk each month. I am two months from trainers that don’t have holes in! Two months from some new clothes! And maybe just a little bit longer until I can save up to get an ipad and have internet connectivity on the move again!
In two months’ time I will also be “on holiday” (as in on holiday at home but OFF WORK most importantly!) which is going to be my time to take stock, reassess, and just give myself some time out after six months of working my arse off. Literally this year I have NOT blinked, I have not wavered – sure I have not gotten 100% on every single goal but in terms of being invested in the goals and the change of lifestyle, I have not lost the thread or fallen off the wagon or lost belief in any major way. I have NEVER managed this before! So while I’m on “holiday” – although I won’t be letting go of my routines completely, especially the crucial healthy ones, I AM going to let myself have some extended, unscripted, unscheduled time and just chill the heck out! And also re-think and plan going forward, because my challenges for the second half of this year are ones I have never attempted before.
All these big things are things I’ve done at least once before if not multiple times. Getting out of debt. Losing weight to a weight I’ve never been before in my adult life. Building a lifestyle that’s healthier than any I’ve ever had, and makes sense in the long-term. Improving my skills as a musician (not sure I have done this deliberately in this way before so this could be a new one, but it’s been implicit in other music goals I’ve had in the past). Writing a new album. These are the big goals I launched at the start of 2013 and I am well on the way to achieving success and completion in all of them! Which on past experience would mean that I’m due for some kind of derailment either from outside circumstances or from some internal freakout, but I’m determined to keep ploughing on rationally and methodically and achieve all these things and THEN survey the ground to look for the next stage. I am not going to stay in this holding pattern of mediocrity any more – this year I will push on to the next part of my dreams and goals.
NEW GOALS up on the drawing board for the second half of 2013:
- Savings! Actual money to save! Plans to allocate different amounts to different projects! (house/car/travel/album) etc.
- Getting to 180lb and saying goodbye to Obesity for good! This will take yet more focus and probably a shake-up in approach to make my efforts as efficient as they can be.
- Seeing how close to my ultimate goal-weight I can get by the end of the year – the more I do now, the less I’ll have to do next year! If I can get to within 20lb of it that would be STELLAR.
- Getting into a size 14 and being able to invest in/make pieces of clothing that I’ll probably keep for good. Shaking up my image at work and finding a style for my musical self that will work for me.
- New exercise plans, trying new activities!
- Actual studio recording sessions!!!! And having friends in and the fun times that will bring.
- Making music videos!!! Funnnnn!
- Finding and doing my first gig (this is probably going to be the single most terrifying experience of my adult life but if I get past this point then I can do anything!)
If I hit my goals over the next few weeks then I will have all of those things to play for – opportunities I’ve never been able to give myself in the past, for one reason or other. I am ready to be that person! And I’m so excited! Just two more months to go!