Hastily scribbled on a Post-it as I was falling asleep last night – my new mantra.
So week 1 went pretty well, I had loads of exercise, I did just about stick to my song schedule and our guests came and went, we had a good time and now things are returning to something near normal. I’m taking today as a “free” day to tackle/prepare a few things and then I will have one more full week off starting tomorrow.
I’ve been starting to think about some of the deeper issues affecting me and making a list of the things I need to get to grips with to move forward. Sometimes I do fall into melancholy and “nothing is working!”- ness, especially when dealing with the more negative naturally-occurring elements of my mind which make it seem like a constant battle. I want to find ways to move forward and let go of these thoughts for good, and I’m hoping that with everything coming to the surface at once, I’m at a turning point. I really want to isolate the thoughts and instincts that need changing and come up with strategies to manage better, before I go back to work and embark on the second half of this year.
Yesterday I found a couple of new things I could do to interact with and display my music and I was pleased with that little nugget of creativity – it was fun and gave me hope and determination to continue. I realised that that’s all I need to do, really, in each area of my life – keep finding new ways of doing things, of solving problems. As long as I have new ideas to try, there can always be progress waiting to be made. So I’m taking this as my new mantra.
I’m finding that some of my goals have shifted since the beginning of the year, and I need to become a new version of myself to tackle what’s ahead. I have a lot of doubts, a lot of unnecessary complications, and I’m low on confidence – but I can work through all of that. I need to work on my mind as much as anything.