Evolving.

I have two dreams for Q3 – to get past lowest weight yet (LWY) and to start recording the next album, in the studio. Both of these should be feasible and in fact they could both well happen in August so whatever happens, this should be the Quarter that sees them both come to pass.

On the LWY front, I started July at 236.8. LWY is around 215, so I have 21-22lb to go. Even though my weightloss over the first two quarters (about 18lb) wasn’t so stellar, things have changed a lot while I had time off work and I’m doing things differently enough now, that I hope it’ll make the difference – 2lb a week at least HAS to be doable. One of the big achievements of the first half of the year was that my exercise schedule is set, I get 6 sessions of cardio a week provided I make the effort to get up and run on a Saturday morning – the weekdays all happen automatically and Sunday I have up to an hour of easy stretching, tai chi and yoga. I’ve been doing pushups every day since the beginning of June. All these things seem to work for me and I’m feeling the benefit so it makes me want to continue.

Food-wise, today was the second day largely starch-free at work and AGAIN, I was NOT hungry until lunchtime. Starches (and bread in particular, I’ve noticed) seem to give way to that raging, grumbling hunger and I just haven’t had that this week (or the two weeks I was off and largely starch-free). It’s still in the experimental stages and I am spending a TONNE on fresh fruit, protein, and interesting lunches, but I figure I’ll get into my groove and learn where I can save, in time. One thing I remembered (best breakfasts ever) was having greek yoghurt and honey in Corfu, with strong tea, so I’m going to start doing that before I leave for the pool and that will be cheaper – it’s quite high-cal and dense so less needed and a £1 pot should do 4 days! Apparently!

Corfu 607

Corfu breakfast tea and writing!

And I have been dressing fabulously in my new clothes at work. It’s funny because people do notice (we have quite a clothes-focused group of girls!) but at the same time it doesn’t make that much difference to anyone else, but it does make me feel better to be wearing nice, new, presentable things rather than old dingy unflattering ones. I feel more like I’m worth all the effort I’m putting in.

On the music side, I’ve set up my practice lists and am just ploughing through whenever I get the chance. I’m setting some new challenges this half of the year (learning some more covers, working on songs for the album after this one!, working on piano songs again) but the main focus is to get the new songs totally under my belt so that when I get into the studio I can be sure of getting perfect takes quickly and save time to experiment. My biggest goals for this month were to practice at the studio complex and investigate the studio, both of which I did on the first day! So I’m not pressurising myself too much, just going to get as much done as I can. One thing I Must do (like running on Saturdays) is record the album tracks each week so I can listen to them and think of tweaks/improvements – that’s something I can do walking to work and back.

I’m so glad that I was able to see inside the studio on Monday, because now I can really picture it in my mind – where I’ll sit, how it’ll look and feel. I am really able to visualise that happening, hopefully next month. If I can be sitting in there playing my songs and be LWY and wearing my old smaller clothes and feeling great about myself, that would be even better! That compound image of all my goals coming together is filling my mind at the moment – at work, on the train, in bed, I’m constantly turning over different aspects of that in my thoughts. Everything FEELS different because I really am doing things differently. I’m tired of always telling myself I’ll work for the life I really want without really having the actions to back it up. Hopefully it’s all going to work out!

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