17 January 2014

Oh heck, there we go and it’s more than a week since my last post! We are already in week three and I’ve lost all hope of posting weekly updates, ha!

Week one I was at home and everything went to plan – hit all my targets and made baseline days everyday except the one where I missed a workout because the pool was closed! Week two, HH was on nights and I lost the plot completely, hardly slept and it was the first week back at work. Cue a weekend with lots of extra naps and failure to meet my music hour target.¬† Week three so far has been much better, HH and I have had some quality time and accomplished something that’s a big deal for us as a couple, so that’s been emotional as has seeing my brother and continuing to build bridges with him, a process which feels like pulling thorns out of my feet. So emotions have been running high throughout weeks 2 and 3.

My social plans at least have held up really well – I’ve had something on everyday or written letters, and often had spontaneous additional people time beyond the plans I’ve made. I would like to say this is the trade-off with music time but I don’t really think it is – I am still spending quite a bit of random time analysing my social interactions and the emotional fallout and if I could streamline that time I think I would probably be able to get the other things done that I want to.

It’s only the past couple of days that I remembered that I’m supposed to be following the Path this year, not living to a formula. The structure I set myself is designed to facilitate accomplishment of the goals I’ve set but it’s supposed to be an average that allows flexibility so I can follow my heart and my own development as suits me best. I can’t feel like I’m supposed to be busy all the time – I need time to just be, in a healthy way. I let loose a bit a couple of nights this week and just chilled out and that was what I needed. It all seemed so obvious at the beginning of the year, that I was just following a process that was happening quite naturally and can’t be forced – but there are things I can do to facilitate it and allow it to happen. I get ahead of myself and want to run before I can walk but sometimes I just have to accept where I am and enjoy the reality of that.

Anyway I missed 4 hours of music last week and it’ll be very touch and go whether I can make it this week or not, let alone making the hours up. Lord knows I need the practice though!! So just got to get on and practice whatever comes up next. Got good plans through the end of January so it’s full steam ahead – just remember to breathe! Some time to do nothing is necessary!

Photos are from last night…




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