18 March 2014

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It’s funny. What is this all about? Life on the surface goes better and better – I am having more fun, I am happier, more present, more effective and more successful than ever before. Life is easier and goes better and I am getting more done – I’m pretty good at staying on top of things these days. Things I used to find difficult are much, much easier. There is much I can enjoy both within my comfort zone and outside it. I am knocking it out of the park and only see things getting better and I know that that alone is worth having. I am grateful. I believe in my ability to play a role in other people’s happiness.

But at some point it feels like this whole year has been a lesson in how you can be perfectly falling apart inside and no-one need ever know. I am still grieving so hard. I *feel* incomplete and convinced that none of this can ever be fixed. It’s the wildest contradiction but I have discovered that how I *feel* doesn’t have to hold me back in life, in this life. I will *do* the best I can and one day maybe I will realise that I *feel* better.

Life is pretty beautiful after all…

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