Yesterday I read this book (…and it changed my life… As you would expect).
Today was a different day, rainy. I stayed home for most of it, aiming to focus on music with other bits in between. I woke up before six and never did go back to sleep. I have a tonne of scrapbooking stuff to get caught up with as well as music and sketching and a couple of sewing and baking projects I want to try, as well as trying to get to grips with the new ideas I’ve been taking in this week.
Mostly, though, I’m living out my emotions in a creative way. Today that meant I ended up writing a song in one very intense hour, then recording and editing it all in the same day! It took me less than three hours which is a record even for a simple song, and of course I love it because it represents exactly what I’m feeling right now, in this moment, today. They’re not easy feelings to sit with, and writing was a little fraught – afterwards for a little while I wondered why I put myself through it. But those feelings are gonna be there whether I use them or not, otherwise I’m just pushing them aside and displacing them with something else; and once they’re safely encased in a song I can safely let them go, knowing I can revisit them any time I like. It’s a good release. It felt amazing to be so in the zone – to write and record a song start to finish in a single day is something I used to dream about, and the lyrics to the first verse in particular are some of my best.
I’m living my art and finding I have everything I need right here with me. It’s scary knowing this is something I just started and it could slip and be squashed by circumstances any time, and my raw emotions are terrifying – but I have a feeling this way of life is the only one that’s really going to make me happy.