Today was really interesting!
Had a really strong run this morning – well over 30min in the anaerobic range (mostly 160s) and a beautiful sunny morning in the park. After I’d finished I stood against a tree for a while, took my shoes and socks off and felt the slightly damp earth under my feel (we had rain overnight). Then I walked barefoot across the lower field and found a spongy clump of clover that was so refreshing for my feet! That felt wonderful!
28 consecutive days of workouts later – I didn’t believe it was possible, I didn’t think my body could take it, I thought I would be tired and ratty if not injured but… I woke this morning virtually ache-free, I feel awesome, and I never want to stop!
I’ve been challenged recently to test out how free I really am and see if I can expand my spheres of comfort and influence. I already know that I can only decide what I’m doing with each day when the day comes, and the range of options is bewildering and does give me some anxiety – how can I guarantee the best use of the time without planning in advance? I’m trying to work on the belief that when the time comes, I will know what to do – and I’ll be happier anyway living life that way because I can match activities to how I feel.
With bad weather expected for the rest of the weekend, when I was coming home from the run I felt like the sunny sky was screaming “BEACH!” at me. I haven’t seen the sea yet this year and that’s really unacceptable. So after a shower, breakfast and some piano practice at home, I hopped on a train to Brighton (45 minutes and only £6.60, which is nothing for transport in this country – my peak daily commute costs me more). I went on my own, I hung out with myself, I guess I could have sought out people to talk to but there’s been so much evidence lately that my relationships with others are no longer problematic – what I wanted to do was reconnect with myself.
It turned into another of those days where I was physically trying to wear myself out as much as I could! A further couple of hours of walking, interspersed with some fine artisan coffee, a sit on the beach, and a hot dog! When I sat under the sun in the wind and felt the sea spray in my face, surrounded everywhere by the most fantastic blues, I felt something in me lift and release into the sky. On the way home it hit me that I had gone there to heal. There’s not really any better way to describe it. It was a phenomenally uplifting spiritual experience.
I didn’t feel the need to linger after having had my fill of sea and exercise, and on the way home mid-afternoon had a message from the chattiest member of the local “tribe” (starting to feel virtually like a sister) that she was shopping in town, so I went to join her, hung out for an hour or so and picked up some things I needed. It was an easy time with no pressure or expectation and social contact for which I was grateful. Then came home and had a bath! And ate dinner with my husband.
I can’t believe so much happened in one day! It all felt so right, and I wasn’t stressed or annoyed at all. I showed that I was free and alive, and came back relaxed and refreshed. If everyday could be like this it would be fine with me.