3 September 2014

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Exactly the same view as yesterday, plus cloud!

Emotions are running high at the moment (when are they not?!) and also it feels like there’s suddenly not enough time to do everything I want to, lots of opportunities to learn and forge ahead and not quite enough time – that’s much better than trudging through the hours and days.

What I would really like to do is find concrete ways, each day, to push for the very best I can be in all different areas of my life. I am (just about) managing it at work, although there’s no end of things to get done and to study there, so really the “best” is just a matter of how efficiently I can get through things so I can cram more in. Must not sacrifice my non-work time towards this – the goal is to maximise the time available – otherwise I could keep going forever.

Outside of work it’s harder, surprisingly. I do have a list of opportunities to pursue with music and a load of new material to work on, but have not been ring-fencing specific time to do that in amongst the throng of other life occurrences, and being tired and not 100% hasn’t helped. I also have basically no mentors in this area or people to help propel me forwards, so the motivation has to come completely from me (which is appropriate given that this is MY dream, after all!)

I think it’s harder in a sense because music is right at the boundary of my inner/outer worlds; in the “outer” world of work and activities with other people, I am aware of my powers and find it easier to just bite the bullet and take risks. I need to remember (and constantly remind myself) that as soon as my music is out there, it too is part of the “outside” world and I can push it out and take ever braver steps, just as I do with other practical, real-world things.

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