I haven’t made anything today – well apart from enquiries and price-ups for CDs (yay!) and getting all my lyrics typed up into a malleable format for the inlays, and messing around with the track order some more… OK that’s quite a lot.
Today was about saying goodbye to someone. But it was about a lot more than that too. I only had a half hour or so in the end but this is someone who is moving overseas and I actually really really have come to like, and if I didn’t see him today I’m not sure of us ever meeting again, it’s not impossible but it’s not likely either.
Before I popped in to his leaving drinks I stopped off to have a conversation with someone else where we discussed how it was only January this year when meeting new people was something I used to flag up as being quite daring and well outside of my comfort zone. In February we went to my cousin’s wedding and I spent the entire four-hour journey home analysing the details of my social performance with maybe 25 unknown friends and family. It’s something that’s become so easy for me now, and I love that – meeting people and being able to make conversation on just about anything is just a part of who I am. So off I went and marched through two floors of a massively packed pub, met H, met three totally new people and reconnected with three others I’d known five years back. Whatever social anxiety I had has completely dissipated.
What gets me about H is that I am genuinely sad he’s leaving and wish we had had more time to hang out. It’s not like I was instantly at ease with him from the word go, but it’s been a pleasure knowing him this short while, and it feels a bit like saying goodbye to a best friend or kindred spirit. To feel that way after meeting someone only three times – that doesn’t happen very often; but I’m glad it does happen. I am not even really sad because I gained so much more in those hours than I’m losing by him leaving.
And that, mostly, is what today was about. Safe journey H. I’ll miss you.